Day One

So day one of lowering our blood pressure! Today we are going to figure out what is bothering us. Stress is a silent  killer. I say often in my motivational speeches: you cannot change what you will not acknowledge. When I start life coaching someone it is essential that I know what it is that is bothering them. You may know off the bat that it's your job, your weight or your relationship. But sometimes we don't know what is bothering us. So today I'll ask you to write about what is stressing you. You can either write in the comments or journal. If you don't know what's bothering you here are ways to figure it out: 

1. Freewrite. If you write freehand you can just sit down and start writing and perhaps your real issue will come to the forefront.

2. Make a list of the five things that are annoying you today. They may seem simple but a pattern may clue you to the real problem. 

3. Ask your best friend. Say what do I complain about the most? A real friend will tell you! Get clear about the problem so we can work on a solution! 

Assuming the Best Intention

While in High School there was a moto that went something like Expect the best, prepare for the worst. But my life has always been more like expect the worst, prepare for the worst. Certainly multiple traumas, car accidents, abandonment and abuse reiterated that for me- this was the way it was going to be. However, thinking like that keeps me on edge, irritated, combative and in fight or flight mode. I am hoping that in 2016 I can move closer to expecting the best. 

I remember last year when I was trying to buy my first house. I'd been in the process of buying a house at least 5 times and gotten all the way to closing once and had the deal fall through. I kept bracing myself for it not to work out so much that I was unable to celebrate when the deal went through! I am always bracing for the next big hurt or dissapointment.

But what would happen if I began to expect that every interaction brought with it some good? That every individual meant me good instead of harm. It may not keep bad things from happening- that is a part of life- but it may get me out of perpetual frustration and irritation. Maybe it's just a mistake and not oart of a bigger plan to take me down. Maybe she got pulled away from her phone and her lack of response to my text does not mean she doesn't want to speak to me anymore. Maybe this disagreement doesn't have to signal the end of a friendship. Maybe I can be hurt and healing and loving and forgiving and sometimes uncomfortable but always present. I will work this week on assuming the best and taking people's word at face value. I will show up and be present in all interactions. I will expect the best, even if I am conditioned to prepare for the worst!