Wherever you are- you will make it through

Week 4, Day 3. Gratitude. If He brought you to it- He will bring you through it. It doesn't matter what the issue is- you can get through it. Through a strong belief in a higher power and the knowledge that you went through what you did for a reason. You can make it through! But on the other hand- you will not make it if you don't believe you will. If you think you can- you are right. If you think you can't- you are right. Be who you want to be in the future today. You are where you are for a purpose! Learn the lesson and move on (that's tomorrow's post). 

Attitude of Gratitude

Week 4, Day 2. What is guaranteed to turn your situation around? Gratitude! I remember laying in the bed with my right leg broken, glass in my face and neck, right head shaven and all I could think about was "Thank you, God!" I survived! My two small children 2 years and 6 months survived! Their car seats had just been adjusted by someone that I felt was trying to make me look bad but ALL things work together for the good! Car was totalled, I was broke, had Traumatic Brain Injury and didn't know my next move but I was so grateful. That feeling of gratitude for life has stayed with me ever since. There is nothing that gratitude cannot carry you through. I read about a family who lost all four children to the same genetic disorder. They spoke of being grateful that God blessed them with children and being grateful for each day they spent with their children. WOW. What a testimony of faith. So lift your head to the sky. Find your one piece of gratitude today and feel blessed because you are!!!!

Seeing Results!

Week 4, Day 1. Are you seeing results? If you do the work- you should see results. If you are not seeing your blood pressure going down- are you doing the work? Are you drinking hibiscus tea? Drinking 64-100 ounces of water? Excercising 30 minutes 3-5 times a day? Journaling? Meditating? Praying? My blood pressure has gone down, but lately my stress level has gone up. So I'm going to meditate before going to bed. I'm going to take my blood pressure tonight and plan my tomorrow accordingly. I still have three more week to get it down! Dr's appointment Thursday!!!

Write the Vision

Today is the last day of the week. A week for reflection and evaluation. Regardless of what your blood pressure is- pat yourself on the back for your effort. Empires aren't built overnight. But nothing will ever be built without a plan. So let's take the weekend to think and write down where we want to be. Many of us have jobs that pay the bills and are in relationships that are keeping us warm at night but we are unfufilled because this is not really satisfying us. If you got in my car while I was pulling out the driveway the first question you'd ask is "where are we going?" Well before you make another move ask yourself where are we going- then ask yourself how are we going to get there. Here's an achronym to marinate on over the weekend. Next week is the last week of our lower your blood pressure series! 

Purpose💸👏🏾🙌🏾

A woman approached me in the prayer meeting back in 2002 and said, "You are holding other people's healing in your hands." I knew immediately what she meant. My writing, my stories, my teaching: I must get it out. This is what I was put on Earth to do: to use my pain and experiences to help someone else. It is what I aim to do everyday for the rest of my life. Doing it makes me feel alive and on-fire. So today's tip is find your passion. Read Purpose Driven Life. Take a Myers-Briggs personality test. Ask people close to you what they think you should be doing. Follow your heart straight to your dreams. The most important thing you can do is to write it down: Write the vision, make it clear. Whatever you can dream, you can achieve. Nothing is a hinderance until you allow it to be.  Find your purpose, embrace it and then get started👏🏾

Boundaries

Week 3, Day 3. Boundaries. Today we are going to talk about setting boundaries. It is so important to establish boundaries in order to have healthy relationships. I didn't understand this for a long time. I was everything to everyone. I was there when you called; went to everybody's event; went to church every time the doors opened; I was on the phone for every crisis- and guess what? There was nothing left for me. I was empty. I was like Mary/Martha during Jesus' visit to the house. I was busy doing instead of being. And that busyness keeps us from the stillness through which God moves. Meditation and prayer can literally change the way our brains work. But when we keep going, going, going- we leave little room for knowing ourselves and loving ourselves. Let's put the doing on pause. Let's cherish the silence. Let's clear our calendars. Let's set boundaries and say no to things and people that drain us. It is in the silence that our character is developed. In the silence, we remember who we are. Be still, be you, be healed. 

Mirrored Relationships

Week 3, Day 2. Your relationships are mirrors. Don't like what you see in your relationships? Take a look in the mirror. Don't like what you see in the mirror? Take a look at your closest relationships. If there is anything you see that you don't like- you can change it! I remember wondering what I was doing with one of my kids fathers. He was a shell of a person- no emotional depth, no stability, angry- yet I was so drawn to him. It wasn't until after our physical relationship resulted in an unplanned pregnancy that I realized that he was a reflection of the person I was after my divorce. And that in order to attract and be attracted to someone with depth of character, stability and real capacity to love- I'd need to develop those things in myself. It's not easy but most people want relationships to be based on integrity and trust- so it's important to evaluate whether we are providing that for ourselves and our relationships. Doing what we say and saying what we do- as Twinkle says- is the basis for building trust in ourselves and our relationships. Look in the mirror and then at your relationships... What do you see? 

Relationships

Week 3, Day 1 This is the beginning of Week 3! We are getting our blood pressure down by working a little bit each week on something that may be affecting our stress level or our health. This entire week we will be working on relationships. For many of us it is our intimate relationships at home and work that are causing us stress. One thing I work hard to instill in my life coaching clients is that YOU ARE in control of your life. Stress, depression and anxiety in a lot of instances come from the feeling of being out of control. So many of us are not living the life we imagine and are not doing things that bring us happiness. Please remember that you are in control of who you invite into your life. Regardless of the relationships you have had in the past, you can open and/or close doors to who you want in your life. You can be respectful of people and love them with boundaries. Remember to treat yourself with the love and respect you expect from someone else. Regardless of whether or not you have experienced love or not, whether you are recovering from a broken heart, you can recover by focusing on you and what you need from life. Ask yourself what you want and how do you want to

Find a little happiness today!

Week 2, Day 5. Put a Little Happiness in each day! Yesterday I asked you to define happiness for yourself. Now that you know what it will take to be happy, go get it! One of my goals was to one day sit at my desk and write overlooking a lake on my property. Don't you know, at my apartment back in 2009, I had a little lake outside? I put my desk up against the window and wrote my first published book: Love Letters. You can find little pieces of happiness. If you would like to be wined and dined- take yourself out to dinner or arrange to meet up with friends tonight. If happiness is feeling in control of your finances, make a budget today. If your dream is to write a book: start the outline or ask a friend to hold you accountable. If it's smaller numbers on the scale or blood pressure machine; get moving- go outside for a walk or join a gym today. Sprinkle a little happiness in your day today and before you know it you will be happy. And watch those blood pressure numbers go down! Life is made up of moments. Decide today to make those moments count!

Know your Other Numbers

Week 2, Day 2. Know your other numbers! I'm talking about finances. This blog post is so important I dreamed about it last night. So many of us have our peace of mind stolen daily by lack, or by debt or mismanagement of what we have. But that can change today. You have to know your numbers. 

1. Write down all income from all sources

2. Write down all monthly (or weekly) debt from all sources. (Grab your bills)

3. Figure out what you spend on variable expenses get last months bank statement or keep receipts for a month to see what you are spending on groceries, fast food, gas, Amazon (!), etc. 

4. If what comes in is more than what's going out- you're good! Start saving for short term and long term goals! If what comes in is LESS than what goes out, it's time to make some changes. Increase your income or decrease your expenses. 

5. Prioritize the essentials and non-essentials then start deleting non-essentials. Do you need cable AND Hulu AND Netflix? Pack lunch to cut down on eating out, grocery shop at low end versus high end grocery stores (Bye Whole Foods, hello Aldi's!). Youtube and learn how to keep your hair fresh at home. You can make cuts and still be a Diva. What feels good is bills paid, money in the bank, able to help those in need and hair done, nails done, everything did! 

6. Moving forward it's a great rule to take 10% in cash for spending money, 10% to savings and 10% tithes to show God you are grateful.  Spend the other 70% on bills. 2016 can be the year you take charge of your finances but first you have to know your other numbers! 

Know Your Numbers!

Week 2, Day 1. Lowering our blood pressure. Today's tip is know your numbers. I can only tackle my blood pressure issue because I know it was high. I got my A1C last year and it was pre-diabetic so I'm waiting to get this years numbers any day. My BMI reduced last year from 43.75 which is morbid obesity (morbid means deathly, by the way, to 38.26 which is obese class 2. I'll take it!!! And I expect it even lower by the end of the year. I am doing all this hard work like the 1.5 hour hip hop dance class I attended tonight because I know my risk factors. My family history of high blood pressure, diabetes, cancer, sleep apnea and stroke put me at high risk as does the auto immune disease I have, fibromyalgia. I got a late start, so I have to work hard to catch up. I thank God everyday for my health and because I know my numbers, I know what to work on! Make an appointment with your family doctor or attend a local health fair to get screened! You cannot change what you will not acknowledge! You can change! 

Be Present!

Day 5, Be Present! This is a hard one for many of us but studies show being in the moment, through prayer, meditation, yoga or mindfulness, reduces stress. Most of us are always on the run, going from one thing to another. But one way I got through law school, divorce, kids, unemployment, failed Master's degree, failing the bar exam twice, recoving with a broken leg, living with traumatic brain injury and fibromyalgia- the list goes on- was to tackle each thing in front of me with 100%. Everything else could wait. Most stress comes from dwelling on the things behind us or worrying about things to come. Right now- this moment has enough problems of it's own. It's difficult to be in the moment without practicing how to be in the moment. So Youtube has videos of mindfulness, yoga and meditation. Calm.com is a great app and a wonderful place to start. Stay in the moment today!

Let's Get a Morning and Night Routine

Routines are soothing. That's why we develop morning and bedtime routines with our children. Routines comfort and soothe us. So today lets develop a routine. What would you do in the morning if time was not an option? FLOTUS and POTUS Michelle and Barack Obama wake up at 4 or 5am. to get time together and work out. I want to work out in the morning because it makes me feel empowered all day. I would also love to start and end my day with prayer and meditation. So what is stopping me? Me. All I have to do is set my alarm earlier and start my bed time routine at a certain time. It's a good idea to get your partner on board to make it easier to stay motivated. Journaling about what's on your mind before you go to sleep has been proven to help us sleep better. Sleeping better helps you be more productive through the day. Remember we have the same 24 hours in the day as President Obama, Tyler Perry and Beyonce. We can do it! Start today!

Your time, your treasure!

Day 3! Today's tip is to evaluate where you spend your time. Where your time is- there your treasure lies also. If you want to know what's important, think of your 85 year old self. Thank God I had the wisdom to think this at 20 years old when faced with an unplanned pregnancy. What will be important to me at 85? This child or my college degree? (I did not know at the time that I could have both!) what can we do today with our time that pur 85 year old self will appreciate? The Senior women at my church did a praise dance Sunday and I cried so hard thinking about how many strong, beautiful women did not get to become Seniors. My mentor Donna J. Rice and my Godmother, Von Woods may they continue to Rest in Peace. I exercise and eat right to be afforded the blessed opportunity to age. And I want to be a good steward with this time, body and health that I've been blessed with. In 2009 I was hospitalized for over a week with a bad fibromyalgia flare. I was determined to get my health back so I did just what I'm doing now with my blood pressure: rejected medication and found the natural way to fight inflammation. As a result, my fibromyalgia has been in remission and I have led a healthy lifestyle. There were sacrifices! McDonald's, pop, pizza 4 times a week- all had to go. I had to incorporate veggies and fruit and pack my lunch daily. But it paid off. My weight loss, decreased knee pain, breathing, energy level and quality of sleep have all improved due to my lifestyle change! To God be the Glory for surrounding me with a healthy husband and healthy co-workers, fb friends and role models. Write down your schedule, pencil yourself in: exercise, meditation, journaling, reading. Do things everyday that will build yourself up. Start today! 

Developing your Strengths

Day Two! Yesterday we started lowering our blood pressure by identifying those things that are bothering/worrying/upsetting us. Today we are going to put those things to the side and focus on our strengths. What is it you love to do? What has kept you through the hard times? Today let's journal about those things and think about how we will set aside time daily for those things in our life. These may be hobbies or they may be what we feel like are our ultimate purpose in life. For me- prayer is something that has helped me through and it's not something I have been consistent with in the past few years. Also, writing has helped me to sort through the clutter in my head and silence my fears. These are both things I need to do regularly. Let me know how you plan to exercise your strengths!