2018 is here! Amidst the celebrations, new years resolutions and renewal that is in the air, there is a lot to try to sift through. If you are like me, you have had a heck of a year last year, 2017 was rough on us all, personally, professionally, nationally, locally. It was a rough year for those experiencing loss, the hurricanes, financial perils, and personal let downs and disappointments. For some of us, 2017 brought things we never expected and did not anticipate. But there are winds of promise blowing through with 2018 and I feel them even as I deal with a very personal crisis.
The one thing I was looking forward to over the Christmas holiday was time off of work and spending that time with all six of my children and my life partner, Gal. I was looking forward to my daughter being home from her third year at Howard University and all of the kids being under one roof for the holidays. What I did not know I was going to be dealing with was a very sick daughter. She came home and had to be rushed to the hospital the next day. We are still waiting on a diagnosis and treatment plan. In the meantime I have had to find my optimism and continue planning on how to have a great new year.
Our babies are everything to us. We would rather go through than to have them go through something. We cannot do life for them, nor could we take and shield them from pain and heartache. It has been said to have a child is to have your heart walking around on the outside of our bodies. It is true. But our children are not us. Our children are individuals that just happen to have our DNA. We have to know how and when to let go.
When I had my oldest daughter, I never wanted her to experience pain. I didn't want her to fall. So consequently, I barely put her down on the grown. It should come to no surprise that it took her until she was sixteen months to learn how to walk. I learned quickly that falling is part of learning. And that trying to keep her from experiencing pain can also keep her from experiencing the necessary steps of development. I learned so with the rest of my kids, I let them fall and learn to get back up themselves.
My second daughter was so independent, I could not have kept her from learning how to walk. When she was born, the Doctor looked at her scowling face and said, awww, baby, you don't have to worry about paying the rent, yet. Poor baby. She was serious and determined, like she'd been here before. She was a little mama. An old lady in a baby's body. She was strong, and I pray that her strength comes back to her.
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